2012: The Abstract Version

Obviously, what I'm trying to say is that I ate a lot and grew chubbier this year. :P

On a more serious note, it was certainly an eventful year filled with saying goodbye to the comforts of familiarity and moving on to new experiences.

Still not quite sure how to be a butterfly but I'll just have to fake it until I make it. 

Happy Anniversary, mom and dad! :)

One step at a time...

Last week...

Friend: "Still on Monday blues?"
Me: "Err... it's Tuesday today!"
Friend: "No no, your blog! LOL"

I guess it's due time I updated. There's so much to say but so little words. 

---

From a distance, 

I watched

 as the little boy 

rose to the top. 

In a way, life at the moment parallels the early stage of this little boy's journey.

I guess I have to take it one step at a time.
Sometimes making careful decisions, sometimes taking little leaps of faith.

Life can be a struggle? Yes.
Still an exciting adventure to be on? Absolutely.

Monday Blues

So last weekend was a little gloomy... and then it was Monday. Needless to say, cheerfulness level at the start of this week was pretty darn low.

But I woke up to some unexpected messages from some amazing friends.

Amazing friend exhibit A

Amazing friend exhibit T
*Note: Boss is an inside joke ;)

You guys make it really hard to stay sad.
Thank you :')

Happy Halloween, everyone!

If you could give one gift to yourself...

Back in college, there was this interpersonal relationships and communications class we were required to take. The lecturer handed us a piece of paper on our first day. On it, there were a couple of sections involving one's view of oneself, religion, love... and we were told to answer it honestly. 

Inside joke among some of my girl friends :P

Anyway, I remember one of the sections distinctively because it took me by surprise. It said "A gift you would give to yourself". I paused. 

"Courage," I wrote. 

Yes, the courage to be myself, to stand up for my beliefs, to grow, to love, to forgive, to be kind... I couldn't think of anything better back then and I still can't think of anything better today.

If you could give one gift to yourself, what would it be?


And no, that wasn't my real answer in regards to religion :)

Kampung

Earlier this year, my grandfather passed away. I wasn't particularly close to him but it was still incredibly hard to be away from home when it happened. So I wrote because it helped release pent-up thoughts. This was one of those rambles. 

My thoughts drift towards my kampung. It isn't really my 'hometown' in the true sense of the word. I wasn't born or raised there. Kuala Lumpur is my home but I will always have a special connection to this tiny little place in the middle of nowhere. Gazing out the car window, it's interesting to watch as the scenery changes slowly but drastically. We're here. The sea breeze in our faces, the tall coconut trees that we don't park cars under, the sand that we struggle to keep out of our footwear... this place is so foreign yet so familiar. Did we just get that new gate? Oh, and we have a cat now? 

In a way, the passing of my grandfather means that there will no longer be a good reason to bring us back to this place; no reason to drive 7 hours away from civilization. I foresee us slowly losing our ties to this place. It makes me sad as I imagine cobwebs and dust slowly gathering over the creaky wooden flooring, slowly covering up our past... 

Will my kids ever know of this place? Will they get to swim in that mangrove river literally in the backyard? Will they get to feed the chickens right through those slotted wooden planks of the living room floor? Will they get to experience showering with well water or running to the outdoor bathroom in the middle of the night? Would they be woken by the crowing of roosters, spend lighthearted afternoons at the pondok, make coconut husk bonfires and just stare at the star-filled sky? 

I did mention that it was a ramble... one which I ended abruptly on that note. 

With that said, my grandfather will remain in my memories and so will the peaceful days we spent in the kampung. 

The Breakfast Gang

It's too early.

I'd leave the car reluctantly, grabbing the free newspaper on my way in. The elderly guard was always the nicest. He'd smile in a nice, not-creepy way. We'd greet each other good morning and make occasional small talk.

I remember that bench where I used to sit, feeding mosquitoes as I waited. It's usually dark when I get there. The flicker of light in the hallway was dim but good enough for me to read.

Halfway through, this zombie-like figure would head my way. I'm not kidding, I should have video-tapped him. We'd usually end up at the Mamak stall, where friendly girl would eventually turn up to complete the breakfast gang version 1.0.

Eat, talk, drink, laugh... and before we knew it, it would be time to rush back for our first class. Dreaded early mornings were so much better with their company.

Over the years, the breakfast gang grew, evolved and sometimes even disappeared. It's been four years. That bench is gone. The old breakfast days are gone. But thankfully, the people have stayed.

Halfway across the globe, these people I grew to love will be receiving their scrolls. Smallhead, Pokok, Cicak, Cinderella, Abang besar, Vietnam, GOHgle, Poulina and the rest of our peers graduating tomorrow... happy graduation! Thank you for making college life so much fun. Here's to many more years of embracing new chapters and reminiscing the good old days together. 

I miss you people :'(